I ran everyone off…

8 03 2010

It has been quite a while since I posted anything… A lot has happened like always because I’ve gotten so lazy with this blog. I will cover all bases without getting too in depth because I don’t feel like writing a novel.

First of all, I haven’t danced in about a month. I am having money withdrawals. It sucks being broke. I am still looking for a job. I think I may have one and will know by Wednesday. We will see. If I do get the position, it starts at between $40,000-$50,000 a year. It’s not stripper money but it will do. I passed my hair follicle test and am waiting on the final word for my background check and credit check. I am hopeful…

I am still living with my father in the Nashville area. The people that used to live here… Well, let’s just say that I have successfully managed to run everyone in the house off since I have been here. My dad’s wife is divorcing him. Before you talk shit… Trust me, he’s better off without her. She is a lying, conniving, gold digging bitch… I have introduced my dad to someone and they seem to be hitting it off well.

Occassionally, I hear from Phillip. He will get drunk and call me crying. Then he will beg me to come back to him. He tries to convince me that he has somehow changed. When I explain to him nicely that I’m not interested he calls me bitches and hoes. Some change huh? Still drinking and still cussing me out. That’s the kind of husband I want. I have met someone else. He is very normal. He’s also very intelligent which is quite the opposite of Phillip. His name is Clay. He is awesome. He has a good job too. He is a robotics and automation engineer for a great company (which I will not mention the name of to keep his privacy). He knows all about my past and accepts me. He also helps me with my bills and asks me if I need any money. I genuinely like him. I could see myself with him.

Phillip and I are presently arguing over who is going to pay for the divorce. I think I’ve spent more than enough money. I guess we will be married as long as he has military benefits. Haha! I have a husband and a boyfriend. And they both know about each other. But seriously, there is absolutely no chance of him and I ever working things out. Ever. It’s like each break up just gets easier and easier. Plus he is going nowhere in life. I need someone who has their shit together. I will be 28 in May. I’ve spent the last six years or so in a drunk haze and wasn’t living in reality. It’s bad to say but I think the best thing that ever happened was when I had that miscarriage. God knew what was best. I can’t imagine having a kid by someone who can’t pay the child support they have now. Phillip is in Iowa at his mom’s drinking, no job, carrying on like an idiot.

Life for me is good. I get up early, workout, and spend the rest of the day looking for a job and cleaning house or whatever. My stress has been reduced drastically. I am at peace for the most part. Since my dad’s wife left I clean, cook, do laundry, and pay the bills. Not that she did any of that anyways. The house was so nasty when everyone moved out. I had to deep clean. I am happy with my life at this point. I can’ t complain. I haven’t set foot in a strip club for about a month now. I was working weekends at a little club right outside of Nashville. I went to work one night and got dressed to go on the floor. I went out on the floor for about ten minutes and realized how much I really didn’t want to be there. I went back into the dressing room and got dressed and left. It will be interesting to see how long I can stay off the pole. Every strip club is like a little Hollywood. I thought about going back to South Carolina for about a week or so to save money. I don’t think that would be a wise thing for me because that week would turn into a month then I would be living there again as a resident. Not a good thing. No, if I want to stop I have to entirely stop. If not, the lifestyle will suck me right back in. It’s like being a recovering alcoholic. You can never have just one.

I’m going to wrap this up… I suppose until next time. I am going to attempt to post more even if they are little posts.




One response

9 03 2010

Well it is good to hear things are rolling along for you. I am very proud of you for stepping away from the pole Alicia. It is a good decision. I hope everything with the new job goes ok as well. I am sure everything will check out just fine. Anyways I am on the road, and had a second. Just wanted to drop you a line and say hello.

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