I Am Never Ordering From the Adult Menu Again

22 11 2008

So… Went to work. It was kind of shitty. I went to Chili’s with my friend Chris before work and had one margarita. I ordered grilled chicken from the kid’s menu. I have decided that whenever a kid’s menu is available I am going to order from it. It’s cheaper and we don’t need all that food that they serve as an “adult” portion. Hell, my kid’s menu was actually plenty for an adult. “So what happens if they say adults are not allowed to order off of the kid’s menu?” Ah… Tricky question. In this case you tell them it is not for you. That you would like it to go please. Then when they bring it in all wrapped up and ready to go, you continue your merry drinking and when you are ready you eat it right in their fucking faces. However, you should make sure that you’ve already paid for it so that they can’t haggle with you about charging for an adult plate. Personally, I have a hard enough time getting along in society. I don’t need anyone giving me shit about ordering from the kid’s menu. They don’t want me to go all crazy white girl on them over some bullshit. I’m liable to drive my car through that mutherfucker. Everyone just agree with me that it should be my way and that I am right and no one gets hurt!

Tonight sucked ass. My mood was a little off. The club was way too crowded. Not enough people spending enough money. An assload of girls. The only real highlight of my night was some drunk guy telling me that he would “give” me a Range Rover. I just laughed at him and asked him if he wanted a dance. Like anyone is really going to give me anything. He just kept bragging about his money. I would have been stupider (that’s right, I said it!) for even having believed one iota of his false tales. It’s simple: If you are going to do something for me, just do it. I’m not going to suck your ass and pray. I am too old for that shit and even though he didn’t know, anyone that knows me or (in your case) of me, knows that I am not falling for that old song and dance. Grow a brain dude. I am not nineteen. Go tell that to one of these new girls. They’ll eat it right up. You just wasted moments of both our lives and your breath. I would be impressed if say he showed up one day with a title and keys. Now that would blow my fucking mind. But that doesn’t happen in Stripperville. Not for me anyways.

The other highlight of my night, if you want to call it that was when I was giving a dance. “Harmony” comes up to the guy that I am dancing for and says she needs to “holler” at him real quick. I told her that she would have to wait until we were done dancing. That was fucking rude. She always tries to bully everyone in the club around. Well, not me. I don’t have time to take a wage reduction over stupidity so I went to the manager and told him what her stupid ass did. He had a talk with her. Any real dancer knows that you don’t do shit like that. But then again… I am in Fayetteville, North Carolina. I think some bitches just can’t stand the fact that I get attention or make money. Cock blockers. Well, that’s it for tonight. No pics. No songs. I will be bitching again soon.




2 responses

23 11 2008

I know what you mean about dumbasses bragging about their money, cars, boats, etc. The worst part is, you have to pretend like you give a shit. “WOW, I’ve never been on a boat that big before, would you like a dance”?

12 12 2008

That ordering from the kids menu is gonna be my game plan from now on! And your right on about the kids portion being enough for an adult. Anyways hope your doing well.

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