Hypothesis: Strippers Suffer From Chronic Terminal Polriderthitis

20 03 2009

Ironic, this was my favorite song to dance to… What a metaphor.

Well, I haven’t exactly blogged for awhile. What prompts this blog is the comment left by Amber. Thanks for reading Amber. It’s nice to know someone gives a shit. Or at least you find me amusing.

So here we are… We are going to test a hypothesis. I know this guy (some of you may have been referred here by his site) named Z. He is a stripper nazi. He hates strippers and everything about them yet continues to date (and of course fuck) them all the while telling them they didn’t get hired based on their brains, they are cum urinals, and that they should commit suicide. I believe the same things but rather than apply this to all strippers I believe strippers should be judged on a case by case basis. Z’s hypothesis is that once a girl has been ruined by being lavished with attention and money while all the while being high or drunk, she is ruined for life. Z basically says once you hop on the pole you’ll never get off unless perhaps a leg gets amputated. Even in that case if the bitch is hardcore stripper enough and she is a real “go-getta” she will likely hobble around the club on one leg  telling her glorified war story about how Hodgie attacked her in Iraq and get some pity dollars. Here’s my point —- I’m leaving. I’m done dancing. My last day was yesterday. Monday morning, March 23, Phillip and I are getting on a plane to move to Northern California where he will start his new job making twenty dollars an hour. He said he absolutely doesn’t want me dancing anymore. I can’t say that I will miss it. So we are going to put Z’s hypothesis to the test. I can’t lie. I might have the desire to go moonlight occassionally. As far as a full time job… Never again. Unless I am about to go homeless or something.

How do I feel about this? I am excited, hopeful, scared, afraid of failure… I graduate at the end of the year so I think I am in a good position to have something to fall back on. It’s time for me to stop. If I don’t stop now, I never will. I will be there forever. Maybe once I am gone for awhile I will let go of some of the cynicism and negativity that environment has taught me to have. I hope for good things to come.

 Phillipand I are doing well. We’ve had fun since he’s gotten back. He is really good to me. I am lucky.

What’s happened to me recently at work? I have two good ones for you.

1.  The other night a guy told me that after he danced with another girl he would buy one from me. I was waiting to go home. I talked to this fucking moron for thirty minutes and when I asked him if he was ready to go dance he replied with, “Sure, let me go get some money out of the ATM.” At which point he bypassed the ATM and walked straight out of the club. What a douche. It was aggravating at the time but now it’s kind of funny when I think about it. I mean what fucking dickhead doesn’t have the balls to tell a stripper that he simply doesn’t want a dance. What a piece of shit! Plus, I strongly suspected that he was a law enforcement officer. He interrogated me rather aggressively about what goes on in the champagne room, what I had done, etc. I am not that fucking stupid. I told him we ran a clean club and that we were strictly regulated.

2.  A guy asked me for a twenty dollar dance. I told him a dance was fourty but that I would give him a two for one. It would average out to twenty a song. He said okay. While we were dancing he tried to play the finger fiddle many times. I actually had to get aggressive with him and straight out just tell him to stop. At the end of the first song he tried to give me twenty dollars and tell me he only got one song so that should be the price. I disagreed with him (very cordially, I might add) and told him the price would be fourty because it was a two for one and one dance was fourty. Makes sense right? This guy refused to pay me! I guess he didn’t know who he was fucking with. I went and got a bouncer and I got paid. When the bouncer asked what happened the guy tried to call me a liar about trying to stick his finger in my pussy! By the end of the conversation he had admitted to it and paid me. I’m the wrong bitch to be trying to rip off.

One of my hobbies is to read the news of the idiots who go to jail for stupidity. I mean the epitome of dumbness. There are two I thought that were funny.

The trend this week seems to be domestic assault. Understandable due to the pressure everyone is feeling based on job losses, being broke, and quality of life in general taking a shit. Runner up is the guy who got arrested for beating his girlfriend up after a five hour argument about — get this: The operating hours of the library! How fucking stupid is that?

Spot number one goes to the guy who went over to his girlfriend’s house, demanded money for drugs, and then proceeded to punch her in the face for not having any money. Wow… I don’t know what to say about that. I think I’m going to start punching people in the face for not having any money too. “What no money?” BAM!!! Fucking awesome!

Will I miss dancing? I will miss the money and  the flexibility, among other perks. But dancing as a whole, no. I welcome this change and I know it’s normal to be scared. I will be arriving in San Francisco around noon on Monday. If I do decide to moonlight I hear San Fran has an awesome club and Vegas isn’t far away. Well, I have no pics. I did pick a song. I used to love dancing to this song… I will have more time to blog now. Until next time.




3 responses

29 03 2009


I am really happy for you at this stage in your life. You are a strong woman, and deserve nothing but the best. I hope to see some more posts, I guess they will come as you have time. Best Wishes, and here is to one of the greats to ever grace the stage. Best Wishes: Steve aka the gold guy.

31 03 2009

Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language 😉
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo

8 04 2009

Hello !! 🙂
I am Piter Kokoniz. Just want to tell, that your blog is really cool
And want to ask you: will you continue to post in this blog in future?
Sorry for my bad english:)
Thank you!
Your Piter

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