“I’m not going to pay you to dance for me!” —Unknown

27 01 2009

This is a local band. They\’re actually pretty good. Our D.J. is the lead singer. Appropriate song I think…


So today was uneventful. I did the usual. Get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, worked out, and so on. I picked my friend’s kid up from school because she had a doctor’s appointment. Then I got ready for work. I went to work at about eight. It was kind of dead, go figure. It’s a Monday right before a payday. I expected that there would be people there but very few spending money. A customer I met in the ARMY was actually familiar with ******** in Memphis, Tennessee where I used to work. We bullshitted a little bit. Zack, the one from last night that said he’d be back this weekend, came in. I knew he hadn’t got paid yet though. I was fucking around with him and I grabbed his phone. Being the nosey little bitch that I am I started going through his text messages. Lo and behold — I found some about me. He said he had met a stripper who was hot. His friend’s response was to tell him to wear a rubber and that it would be like a scuba diving expedition. He responded by telling his friend that he had “already felt it” and such was not the case. F.Y.I. He never felt it. Then he said something about he was just trying to fuck me anyways. I didn’t say anything. I’m going to rape his ass on payday. He was all worried when I had the phone. He was like, “What are you doing?” I just smiled and made him worry more. What an asshole.

Then came the interesting part of my night. There is another club right across the street from ours. Obviously, some guys that were in Phillip’s unit were over there and there was an altercation with security. I am not sure of the details but one of the guys that I know pretty well ended up getting left. So he came to the club that I worked at and asked if I could give them a ride back to base when I got off work. He had another guy with him. I don’t know the other guy’s name because he is a nobody. I guess the “other” guy had some sort of problem with heroin and is awaiting a court martial. I never liked the guy since the first time I met him. He’s got a big mouth and he’s nothing to brag about. So when we were leaving he said something smart. So I told him that he could find his own way back to base. I told Pinto that he could ride with me. Heroin guy got mad and took off walking. So Pinto and I left the club and were driving down the main road that the clubs are on when we saw him. I felt bad because it was cold and I pulled over to let him in. He acted like he wanted us to beg him to get in the car. So there was a scene in which I am pulled over in an empty lot of closed businesses, we’re standing outside at midnight, and there’s people yelling. Now I really don’t have time for shit like this. I told him to get in the fucking car before the police come and we get in trouble. I told him we were making a scene and that this was not the time or the place. So after we got him in the car, guess what happened? Yep. We got pulled over. The cop said it looked like we were having an argument. I explained the situation to him and he let us go. I thank God that I was sober. I guess I showed that cop. He was hoping I was drunk. I could smell sprinkles on his breath too. Okay, not really. After dropping them off, I came home where I am now writing this nonsense in my blog. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. I’m not even drinking. I told Pinto if he was ever with that guy again to not even come around me. Period. So that was my day. No cool customer stories. I apologize.

Oh, except there was this one guy. We talked for a bit. I was about to end the conversation because I could tell he wasn’t going to buy a dance. While I was making my graceful departure from this shit for brains he says, “Well, what if I want a dance?” I told him it would be twenty dollars and asked him if he wanted one. Do you know what this guy’s response was? “I’m not going to pay you to dance for me!” And folks, that was a true story. Names are changed (er, not included), not to protect the ignorant but because I didn’t know him. What a tool. Alright, off to bed. I am sure there will be more soon. Matter of fact, I promise there will be. The bullshit never ends.




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