Just an update

In the process of moving into my new house. Internet will be back up next week. See you then!

I’ve been neglectful again…

 

Damn. I hate when a ridiculous amount of time gets away from me on this blog because then I have so much to type. Here goes…

I had a miscarriage. I actually had what is called an oblight ovum. I think that’s how you spell it. My dog is not shitting all over my floor anymore. I went to go get my daughter. She is home for good now. She also brought her dog. Now we have two dogs. I need two dogs about like I need a second asshole. Her dog’s name is Beau. He is a little Shih-tzu or however you spell it. I’m too lazy tonight to look up any words. I am still dancing. Dancing has gotten so rough lately. I hope things pick back up. It seems like I can’t make more than $250 a night. I’m glad I didn’t start dancing this year. With as rough as everything has been I would have worked two weeks and been like, “Fuck this.”

My daughter was zoned for a real ghetto school. Lots of behavior problems from what I hear. I finally got a house! Whoo hoo! I am excited. I spent Saturday painting her room. I did two walls a light pink, one a light purple, and painted the wall with the most space with a chalkboard paint that kids can write on. I still have to buy a refrigerator before we can move in. She is now zoned for the best school system.

I also went camping in Pennsylvania last weekend.

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We went to Ohio to go get Paul’s son. I was not very happy about that either. It’s not because I don’t like the kid. I just think it wasn’t a very opportune time. I am still working at night so the kids make lots of noise and wake me up early. That pisses me off. I found a cure for that though. I put their asses to sleep. I threatened to send them both to daycare if they didn’t start being quiet in the mornings. Seems to be working. Then Anthony got mad at me tonight because I got in his ass about his attitude. He told my daughter that he was going to go home and never come back until his dad and I split up. I told him that was fine. I explained to him that he didn’t dictate when he went home. We did. I also explained that I pay the rent in MY house. Then I asked him if he had a problem with me being in MY house. I also told him that he didn’t have to like me but that he will respect me and be obedient. I can’t wait to take him home. Again, I don’t dislike the kid but I think it was a little ridiculous of Paul to ask me to be responsible for another kid while I’m working and going to school. I didn’t appreciate the added responsibility. It would be fine if Paul had time to spend with him but he works all week. He leaves at 6 a.m. and doesn’t return until 6 p.m. Paul goes to bed at about 10. By the time he takes a shower and eats the night is gone. So I’m watching Anthony so Paul can see him for three days a week? That just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Oh, well. It will all be over by this time next month. And as for him not liking me… Well, I won’t lose any sleep over it. If Paul and I ever divorce I don’t want another man with kids. I don’t feel that I should have to share my husband with another woman. It’s aggravating. Paul got mad and called Anthony’s mom tonight. He was going to take him home. I said no, fuck that. He came down here and he’s going to stay for the summer. He doesn’t have a choice. If he doesn’t like that, tough shit. He’s not going to dictate to us what we are going to do and when we are going to jump in our car and driver for ten hours. Not happening. Anyways… I am going to attempt to start posting more. I will be moving towards the end of this week. That’s the jest of it. Have fun and be safe.

Not Much Going On…

I still haven’t been to work. I am going out of town tomorrow until the 26th so I definitely won’t be working. I will still blog probably in the interim.

I had a long day of doing little, tiring tedious tasks. I don’t feel too crappy yet. Just a little fatigue. I am hoping mornin sickness doesn’t set in in the near future and I am not so sick I can’t enjoy being pregnant. I woke up at 6:15 and took Paul to work. We desperately need to get another car soon. My daughter is coming back and I don’t want to have everyone operating off one vehicle. After I dropped him off at work I stopped at Chik Fil A and got a biscuit. I love that place! Then I came home, watched the news, and took about a two hour nap. I woke up about 10:30 and went to a dental appointment (courtesy of the United States Department of Defense). Gucci decided to shit on my carpet and drag my sandals behind the couch and chew on them. I took it away and scolded him and tapped him on the head with it a couple times. What a naughty little fuck. But damn, he’s cute. After my dentist appointment I went to grab lunch. Then I ran a couple errands and looked at a house for rent. It’s bigger than our apartment and the cost is only thirty dollars more. We are expanding. :0) Tomorrow I have a lot to do… Laundry, packing, schedule an OBGYN appointment, homework, buy dog food so I can drop Gucci off at the pet sitter, take the truck for a diagnostic, and a few other little things. I suppose I am going to wrap this up for the night. I am so excited to go get my daughter I am on full throttle. She is so great! For now I leave you all in good wishes.

Happy Birthday…

Well, my birthday was Wednesday. Happy Birthday! You’re pregnant. Yep… I am due on January 15th. That’s all I have to say for now.

I got Gucci for Mother’s Day!

Well, I took the job that I was talking about. We will see how long it lasts. It’s an attempt. I am going to see where this goes. I know a lot of BlueCross BlueShield employees frequent the place. Hopefully, I can get a good job somehow. I am taking a pay cut considering I am going to be applying myself for considerably less money somewhere but I’m married now, right? One of the main reasons I took the job was because I know how he feels about me dancing.

I went to work last night and it sucked. It’s nothing to brag about. The last few Mondays have been awful. I’m taking tonight off. I’ll go back tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment and I’m supposed to meet my boss at the cigar parlor for some training.

Oh, Paul got me a puppy for Mother’s Day. He’s so cute! I’ll post pics soon. The only thing I don’t like is the fact that he keeps pissing and shitting on my carpet. His name is Gucci. He’s a PomChi which is a Pomeranian/Chihuauah mix. I guess they are called designer dogs or hybrid dogs or something like that. He’s a playful little thing. He looks like a little bear. I’ll be glad once he gets housetrained. LOL I took him for a walk today and there was a mother duck out with her babies. She saw Gucci coming and tried to attack my puppy! I screamed for Paul and kicked the duck and yelled. In the process he scared Gucci right down the hill into the bushes by where he kicked the duck. I will post pics soon. I know, I’m sitting here talking about a puppy like a yuppy but I like him.

Well, that’s all… You all know that I will keep you posted. Good luck! It’s almost beach weather. I can’t wait!

What’s life good for if you can’t laugh?

Well, didn’t go to work tonight. Got drunk. I decided to get drunk and write on Paul. Here’s my face afterwards…

“Someone please give her a god damn drink so she’ll leave me the hell alone!” — Kent, my favorite manager

 

 

Hmmm… Let’s see. I didn’t work Monday because the last two have been shitty. I did work Tuesday which wasn’t as shitty as Wednesday. Tonight is Thursday. I stopped by the club and had one drink and thought I would save my energy for the weekend. What’s happened this week? Well, some guy that works construction who always tells me he doesn’t want a dance and is only in town on a temporary basis wanted me to sit with him. I told him that he always declines my offers of ripping him off. He complained that maybe if I would sit down and talk to him so he tricked me out of twenty minutes of my time at which time I decided, “Fuck this guy.” I am not going to babysit some asshole who thinks his thirty dollars is going to make me or break me. Next! Then there was a regular (club reg., not mine specifically) who was so drunk he thought it was the first time he had met me. I asked him if he wanted a dance. He also declined. Then wanted to dance with me at the bar at which time I turned around and walked off while he was dancing. He was too shitfaced to remember it next time he comes in anyways. Fuck him. Next! Then of course you get the stray Mexicans that straggle in from time to time expecting a good blow job, finger fuck, and anal all for twenty fucking dollars. At least I got the cheap bastard up to twenty five. Then I told him he could touch my pussy only to get him in the back, take his money, and then slap his hand at the first sign of a pussy grabbing attempt. Then Pedro said, “I thought I could touch the pussy.” I said, “Oh baby, no! The music is so loud you must have misunderstood me.” Then I smiled sweetly and finished my dance. Which brings me to two things that I’ve noticed.

Number 1 – I don’t have regulars. I did when I was younger. I have examined this and think there are two reasons for this misfortune of mine. First of all, I am not going to sit and talk to one person for that long because they get on my fucking nerves. I don’t care about your problems, eat shit. Then over time the regulars feel because they come to see you faithfully they should get some kind of discount. If a dance is fourty dollars I don’t mind giving three or even four for a hundred. BUT you aren’t going to sit here and make me sit with you for an hour as a preliminary to a hundred dollars. Not worth my time. If you want to spend that kind of time with me we need to be in the champagne room.

Number 2 – I don’t get more than two or three dances from one customer at the most. I have also pondered this and have come to the conclusion that the reason for this that I don’t allow them to play with my pussy and do all kinds of nasty shit to me. I don’t tongue kiss them. I just simply refuse. I can imagine how many other strippers they did it with and it would be like licking a human urinal. Not to mention that I’m just not interested. Period.

There was almost a stripper fight last night at work which was pretty cool. All the strippers were on edge because the clientele was being cheap. I was giving a dance while one bitch — we will call her Crack Whore (because that’s exactly what she looked like down to the teeth) was tongue kissing a customer and letting him grope her polluted, unclean, little stink hole. She saw me looking and started laughing saying, “Stop it. Help me…” Then the cunt had the nerve to touch me on my back and ask me to help her! I turned around and told her to keep her nasty fucking hands off me. Then she said, “Help me.” My reply was, “Help yourself, bitch.” I mean, really. Help you? You’re over there enjoying it, laughing, and only put on your display of dire distress when you get the notion someone is looking at you with an unfavorable approval rating. We have bouncers. Tell them to help you. I am not Captain Save A Hoe and if I was you look like you’d need a lot more than a couch room intervention in your life. Rehab, a few extra pounds, some dental work, and common sense and hey, who knows you could be almost decent enough to wash windshields in the parking lot or walk girls to their cars. If anyone gave you any shit you could take that one tooth out and use it as an ice pick! I don’t know how she got hired but whoever hired her needs to be fired. Anyways this display of whorism and stupidity obviously carried over to the main floor because some of the other girls confronted her in the locker room. They said the customer was playing with her puss when she fell over and hit her head on the floor. I’m sure that scene was real entertaining. One minute you’re getting fingered, next minute you bashed your head off the floor while a finger is still hanging out of you. The guy is bent over in his chair. You’re on the floor. He would ask you if you wanted some help up but he’s too busy finger fucking you. When Crack Hoe went back to the locker room she was confronted about her behavior while all the strippers stood around and watched. I didn’t only watch. I laughed. She made the comment that she was only twenty five. The bitch looked thirty five. Then she was so intimidated that she sat in the floor and cried. Then our manager came back there and he was pissed about the situation. Meanwhile, I was still sitting there laughing. He got mad at me and told me to shut the fuck up. I said, “Well, at least I’m not drunk.” He retorted, “Yeah, that would be another fucking headache to deal with.” What can I say? Was an awesome ending to a shitty night. The last time I got real drunk at work we had just quit serving liqour. The waitress didn’t bring my drink fast enough so I went to ask my manager if I could have it since it was her fault. He was trying to carry on a conversation with someone else but I kept standing there while he was talking tapping him saying, “Hey…. Hey…. Hey…. Hey….” Then he finally got pissed and yelled at me. “WHAT?” I asked for my drink. He told the bartender, “Please give her a god damn drink so she’ll leave me the hell alone.” Then I couldn’t stop giggling. I know that I am an obnoxious drunk. So I’ve been told. Now we joke about it at work. I walk up to him and say, “Give her a damn drink so she’ll shut up,” and he laughs with me.

Then I met a guy who has his own cigar company. We talked for about ten minutes and he gave me his card and said to call him this week. I called him this evening and he said that he was looking for someone to work in his cigar bar/microbrewery a few days a week. He said he has a very high end clientele and he liked the way I carried myself. Paul and I went over there tonight to check it out. Paul liked the idea since he hates me dancing. I am considering it. Depends on the schedule. I think the thing that would be more valuable is the networking aspect. CEOs, judges, lawyers, doctors, small business owners, etc. are all among his customer base. He said one girl he hired ended up getting offered a job from a customer and she now makes eighty thousand a year. Guess what? She had the same degree I will have completed in August. Cool shit. I am seriously considering it. I won’t get rich there but I can still work at the club a few nights a week. He is okay with that. I told him that I would keep the two totally separate. For some reason I guess I don’t believe in myself. I don’t know if I don’t think I can do better or am just afraid of failure. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I have pretty much decided that if I can work the scheduling out I am going to do it. We will see. As we all know my plans can change on a whim.

That’s all that’s going on in my world. Oh, I’ve realized I have some mood issues and anger problems. Perhaps even a little anxiety. My daughter has been with my mom which we agreed due to the fact that I was a single parent for so long until I graduated. I am going to get her on the twenty first of May and bringing her home on the twenty sixth. She will be eight years old on the twenty first. I have been trying to work on myself. I want to be healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally. Since the ARMY provides me free medical I have started going to a psychologist. I don’t tell him everything like what I do for a living, that I used to get real drunk(I’d be hearing about rehab next)… But the meds seem to be helping. I was sleeping twelve hours a day and it took me an hour or two to get to sleep. I would wake up several times. Now I sleep fine, my mood is better, and am only sleeping about eight hours. I am feeling good at this point in my life. Most of my stress comes from a financial standpoint but bills will be here when you die so I am trying to learn not to stress over them too much. It just seems sometimes like I have a lot of nervous energy. I am restless, tense, on edge… I am trying not to take life too seriously. I get so anxious that I feel physically tense, short of breath, my forehead is raised up and wrinkled up all the time… I just need to relax. Working out helps somewhat. I don’t need rehab. My drinking problems have stemmed from inability to control myself when I do drink and stress. When I drink I feel carefree. I am on top of the world. I’m happy, energetic, outgoing… When I’m sober, life is fucking boring and tedious.

Well, that’s all she wrote. Glad to see you guys are still checking in on me. I enjoy all the comments and emails I get. I like to hear from you guys. It’s what motivates me to keep writing. You guys are my inspiration. Writing has always been enjoyable to me and the fact that my writing is actually entertaining to someone else is what keeps me writing. Leave comments, feel free to start discussions in the comments, etc. Till next time… May the cash be with us…

If You’re Wondering Which Club I Work At…

So I worked for a few hours on Saturday night. I went in at about 11 and left at about 4 a.m. I did okay but not as good as I hoped. I think it was because me and this other girl decided to do doubles. For those of you that don’t know what that means, it’s the theory that it’s easier to sell a dance with four tits instead of two. It works out okay. We tell the guy that we’re going to give him two songs, two girls for $80. In reality we end up doing one song a piece while the other one sits there. It works out well except for the fact that it’s not as easy to get someone to rip $80 out of their wallet as it is $40.

Recently I have been receiving some emails from readers interested in dancing at the club I work at. Let me start off by saying this… The club I work at has anywhere from 100 – 200 girls working on the weekends and anywhere from 30 – 70 girls at night. Everyone knows what type of environment they do well in. Some dancers don’t like to work in clubs that run a lot of girls. If so, this club is not for you. In addition, if you are  not an aggressive dancer who really comes to work to make money (not the kind of girls that think $200 is a good night, “If I can just make enough to pay my phone bill, I will be alright”, type of mentality) this club is not for you. The girls that come from the chain I work at are very aggressive, pushy, and don’t take no for an answer and if you are not as aggressive they will steal your customer and work circles around you. So if you are not a “hustler” this club is not for you. If you don’t like to give full contact dances, this club is not for you. This is not a club where you dance in front of them and the bouncer stands there waiting to reprimand them for touching you. Most of the inquiries I have received realize after talking to me that this is not a club they choose to work at. Besides, why would I want to tell someone where I work so there are more people working there? I am not going to benefit from it so why should I share? So if you have been waiting for an email regarding this information… It’s not coming. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

I am going back to work tonight. I will blog again tomorrow. I just wanted to put something down since I haven’t written this past weekend. See you soon!

Mothers Killing Their Own Children: A New Phenomenon

I stayed home from work tonight. Paul and I went out and had “date night”. You know, where we act like we’re going on a date but we’re really not. We went to Texas Roadhouse and then to see Fast and the Furious 4. I wasn’t impressed. The plot was weak. Most of those movies after the first one generally were. You don’t really have to have a brain to watch or even understand the plot. Those movies are basically eye candy. Girls dressed like strippers and fast, souped up cars. Gee, that’s a new concept in America. New marketing scheme: Tits and muscle cars. It’s actually a shame that everywhere you look now there’s sex. Beer commercials, billboards, movies, music, books, magazine covers, clothing, and so on. I realize it’s how I make my living but I’m making money off of it. What about the horny people that are part taking in it? It’s a damn shame. I was watching something on the Comedy Channel the other night and I swear to you they said “Fuck” on cable television. It wasn’t a movie channel. It was regular cable that your kids watch. What is the world coming to? You can’t even send your kids to public school for a day without worrying the teacher is going to abduct/molest/physically abuse your child. Or that the child won’t get bullied to the point of suicide. Of course it’s become quit popular in America to shoot up schools. Kids now just bring guns to school. Then you have to worry about the pedophiles lurking around the places where kids would be after school. Crosswalks, bus stops, trolling down the road at 8 mph while they gawk at your kids. Women are on tv killing their own kids. Sandra Cantu was killed by her Sunday school teacher. WTF?
That brings me to another question… Have we always had women sociopaths (and I don’t mean a sex industry worker) or are they just now starting to emerge? There seems to be a growing trend ever since the woman killed her kids a few years ago by letting them drown. Her name escapes me but I want to say it happened in Texas. What is happening in our society that is causing these women to behave like this against their own children? I am surprised nobody else has brought it to the public’s attention.
Well, enough philosophy from me tonight. I am going to try to go to bed. My sleep schedule is so messed up now. I’m like an insomniac. When I lay down all I do is think about what I need to be doing. I feel restless. When I wake, it’s hard for me to go back to sleep. If I lay down in the middle of the day intending to take a nap you can forget it. Why does this happen? Does anyone else have that problem? Is it part of being nocturnal or years of sleep deprivation? Past alcohol consumption? Well, guess I am turning it in for the night.

Attention: New “No Schedule Changing Policy” (Oh, and I’m back bitches!)

So… California didn’t quite work out. Matter of fact, we never left. It seems as if his “boss to be” went on a drunken rampage and got in quite a bit of trouble. That was great. Especially considering our airline tickets were nonrefundable.

So here I am again… In South Carolina. Paul and I got an apartment and moved in. He found a job a few weeks ago. He seems to be liking it okay. He’s snoring right now while I’m blogging.

My days are lonely. I pretty much sit at home while he’s at work pondering up my next culinary work of art for the evening. I take the time to cook him good meals. I won’t lie, I like the way he praises me for being a wonderful cook and a great wife. That’s the only reciprocation I need. I also try to be considerate of him. I mean, if I were to go work ten hours and come home and he had been sitting at home all day I would like to think he would have a meal cooked for me. I sleep in until about ten. Then I get up, drink coffee, and work on homework. I may go to the gym or go for a walk outside if the weather is nice. I clean the house and make sure the laundry is done. Around five thirty I start dinner and take a shower and straighten my wavy mess I call hair so I won’t have to rush later on before I go to work. I like my lonely days at home by myself. I miss Paul but it’s nice to reflect and work on my homework in silence. It enables me to devote at least three hours a day dissecting source codes, studying, completing my homework, and teaching myself programming languages. I just started Java. Guess what? I like programming much more than I originally thought I would! I’m getting somewhat good at Java. From what I understand most languages are similar in the way the code is written. I hope to be efficient at using SQL, Java, and C++ by the time I graduate or soon thereafter. Who knows? I may be a well paid web designer for catharticlament.com one day! I’m sure my self esteem would take a beating but as long as I’m compensated monetarily it wouldn’t be much different than dancing right?

Speaking of Paul, I am happy with Paul. He is not selfish and it’s simple to keep him happy. We get along well. He pretty much goes along with whatever decisions I make and is happy just being with me. He is open minded so I don ‘t ever have to be afraid to talk to him about anything that’s bothering me. He doesn’t have any bad habits. He’s not moody. He cleans up after himself. Yep… I think I’m pretty lucky.

While I am at it… Let me take a moment to address something. From here on out I will not be taking any requests to rearrange my work schedule or calendar to accommodate anyone’s desire to come see me at the club. Quite frankly, it just never works out to my benefit. There have been instances in which I went to work only at someones request and they didn’t even show. Now this hasn’t happened to me only once. Here’s an idea:  If you really want to come see me, then JUST FUCKING DO IT! Shock the shit out of me. Maybe I’ll drop dead. But no longer will I go out of my way to accommodate people who don’t have the decency to do what they suggested to me and that is — show up! Sorry, folks. I just don’t have the patience or the time and I don’t want to end up making voodoo dolls to execute my revenge. So I just decided that the best thing for me to do is to let these people stop driving me crazy by enforcing a No Schedule Change Policy for myself.

Moving right along…

I will start reporting my stripper/customer stories again soon. I saw a pretty good stripper fight in the locker room a few weeks ago. No blood but they used… You got it! Shoes! The choice weapon of all time! Stilettos go down in the Stripper Hall of Fame as being “Least likely to be used for its original purpose.” Ah, stilettos… They can make loud clapping sounds, make you look sexy, compliment your outfit, make you taller, and are a great way to fuck up someones face. The more anger you have, the taller heel you need. If you’re an angry person you are probably more prone to initiate or provoke a fight. Since you’re going to be kicking lots of asses when you’re shit faced drunk (or are too inebriated to fight) stiletto heels make great attack devices. It’s almost like a brick but kind of like a knife. You can push the heel up to someones throat as the two lovely ladies in the locker room demonstrated. If you are in fact too fucked up to fight and think you can only get one lick in, you’d better make it a good one. Short of a bullet or an actual stab wound — what better way to make a lasting impression upon a skanky, pilled up, drunk stripper bitch? The best part is they’re extremely mobile so you don’t have to be in the immediate proximity of another bitch (who’s probably just as drunk, if not drunker) than you to cause bodily harm to her. I could go on and on about the benefits of wearing stilettos but you get the general idea. I am giggling because in my head I can see the late night infomercial. If I ever market the idea I’ll get the ShamWow guy to do it. He’s fucking annoying. It makes me mad listening to him. That kind of anger will cause viewers to go out and buy a pair “Just in case” someone pisses them off. While listening to him they’ll be thinking, “If I did have one of those stilettos I’d nail this guy in the cocksucker.” Almost like subliminal messages but not really.

Well, now that you know nothing worked out the way I planned it to and I’m still dancing we can all laugh and move on with our lives. Till next time…

P.S. Want to hear something funny? When I ran the spell check on this particular blog “fucking” didn’t need any editing but “skanky” wasn’t in the dictionary. Go figure.