I wanted to write about a serious subject and get some feedback. I will tell you what triggered my post…
My daughter started school yesterday. After I picked her up and picked my husband up we went to Food Lion. As we were walking out I heard this little voice going, “Sir, sir… Excuse me sir.” There stood this little chubby black kid. He was all smiles. He said, “Sir, your daughter is in my class.” It was obvious that he liked Lakota from the crap eating grin he had on his face. I couldn’t help but laugh. Then he started showing off for her. When we got in the truck I told my daughter, “Ooooh, he liked you. ‘Sir, sir… Your daughter is in my class.’” She said, “Stop it Mom. You’re being mean.” I thought about it and thought — hey, that was a little mean. How come my ten-year old daughter can understand that, but I disregard it. Then the scenarios started spinning.
Have I been desensitized by life? Where is my empathy? Am I capable of feeling empathy? Sometimes I’m not sure if I feel empathy or if my actions are based on what I have been taught is wrong or right. It’s hard to tell. I admit, I do feel numb sometimes. I do have problems connecting with the emotions of others. Then I started considering different situations and how I would feel.
If I see an animal lying dead in the road, do I feel bad? Some people do. Am I supposed to feel bad or are those people just sensitive? I do remember a time in my life when this would bother me. If I don’t feel bad does that make me a sociopath? I don’t feel bad for homeless people either. There are some exceptions. If they are missing an arm, leg, or blind then I feel they have a valid reason to be homeless and sometimes I do feel bad. I realize there are also those who lack the mental capacity that some of us are blessed with. Although we can not physically see the impairment of the mentally ill or those with addictions, it can contribute to the fact that they are homeless. I feel bad when someone who is obviously at a physical disadvantage asks me for money and I will usually shell out a couple of dollars. If I can not physically see it, I get a little aggravated and am usually pretty rude to them. It aggravates me that someone (especially if they are a man) will ask me for money when they see me with my child. I can not believe a grown man would have the audacity to ask a woman with a child for money when he is capable of getting a job. This in turn makes me a little rude. Does being rude to them make me self-centered? Does it make me a bad person? I think my lack of empathy towards them is magnified by the fact that they are often like vultures that keep pecking at you even after you tell them no. When I see a murder on the news do I feel bad? Sadly, I don’t. Why is this? Is it because it doesn’t affect me? Is it because it’s so common in our society? I will admit, after my daughter said I was being mean — I did feel a little bad. If you have a coworker that gets a phone call that a close family member died at work, do you feel bad for them or rather try to comfort them because it’s what we are supposed to do? I can not feel their pain. It is very difficult for me to put myself in their shoes. The only thing I can do that would closely resemble relating would be to imagine how I would feel if my dad passed away. But why would I want to make myself feel that way? I would try to comfort them. Does this make me a sociopath or a bad person? Then I started to wonder… How many of us really care when someone’s dog gets ran over, their parents pass away, or something bad happens to them? Do we care because we are supposed to care? How do we make ourselves feel more empathy?
I am open to comments, feedback, and suggestions. These are just my musings for the day. I will admit, these musings definitely laid the foundation for an interesting topic.
